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A Night with Someone ElseWhy am I like this
Just lying to myself
I'm feeding off your lips
While I think of someone else
I hold you in my arms
But inside I think of her
The thought of her still harms
Its not one I can endure
I thought with you I could forget
And get her off my mind
But I haven't left her yet
But I'm still trying to make You Mine
Its Driving me Insane
I look at you and I see her
Bite my lip to stop from screaming out her name
And thank the tears..that my vision blur
How will I get through the night
If she will always appear in my vision
I try to concentrate on you..to make it feel right
But it feels like my heart is imprisoned
The night is gone
And you didn't notice a thing
Wish I could feel like I won
but the pain in my heart really Stings
One Last KissI'm always thinking back to us
Mostly happy showing love..but other times just loving to discuss
Yeah these words we loved to cuss...never making a big fuss
We hurt each other to make love...that's just how it was
Loving, hurting, playing games..the heartaches were a plus
A relationship that's so fucked up..but..baby that was Us
But you stayed stuck on that mode...of just wanting to hate
Complaining about the small things..from clothes to the food that we ate
So to please you..I started working so late...13 hour shift from seven to eight
And you hate that I'm home and I'm barely awake...we wont last at this rate
I just want to make you happy..but things begin to complicate
We start hiding..and lying and begin to deceive
Until the foundation of our relationship were the webs that we weave
But you've finally had enough..and decide that you'll leave
I hurt and I grieve...without you..its just pain i receive
But all I need is one more kiss...so I can start to believe
Yeah..I just want one
Perfect but not worth ItYou want to be hated....want me to feel for you..what I feel for me
Just because you left me....because your thoughts..told you we're not meant to be
You made a decision...
I'm not sure what clouded judgement blurred your Vision
But today you walked Away
And right now I'm not sure If I ever want to hear form you again..one day
Because I'm done with all the fights....We no longer have to discuss
Fine..I hate you..like I hate myself......But I'll always love Us
We're so Stupid....but together we're so Perfect
But just like you....I feel that fighting for us is no longer worth It
Cupid's RevengeWhats with me?....I just can't get rid of this frown
And this sorrow keeps swimming in this liquor...and it just wont seem to drown
Proclaimed to be the King of this game...but I've seem to of lost my crown
Because every time I decide to give "Love" another shot..I keep getting shot down
Maybe Cupid is mad for all the hearts that I've Broken
Maybe his wrath is What I have awoken
Well It seems that his goal is to make sure that my heart becomes shattered
And make sure that all the pieces are scattered
Maybe that's why He wont let me have any girl that to this heart actually mattered
The one girl that I love is becoming estranged
And I'm sure it must be all because of Cupid's Revenge
Making our story be like Romeo and Juliet..must be his way to avenge
To give me a perfect girl..who easily takes away my breath
Just to realize..I can only have her..If we have a tragic death
Memories in the SandToday I told myself..I wouldn't think of you
Wouldn't think of what you do
Or what we've been though
but here I am again...stuck in thoughts of you
I remember how I felt when I first held your hand.
We will forever have our names written in the sand.
We had this plan for forever
Until things got bitter.
But it feels like the waves will end up washing away our names
Like the way forever faded...and only left behind the pain
Sometimes I wish for them to fade away...so I start to pray for Rain
For it to wash with them the feelings...that inside me still remain
The sky begins to darken. Rain begins to fall.
No longer will I have it all. A tear falls
Its cold and wet.
It hits my skin like salt on an open womb burning to the core of my memory of sadness.
But I must confess my past has to come to rest so I can start a new chapter of my life.
I wanna be alright again.
I need to let go. But I want you to know. I will always love you.
Lost Chance at Love(girl)
A gasp leaves my throat as I see you standing there.
How I long for the moment when I will tell you I care.
I desire for you to whisper three words in my ear.
I hope you feel the same way and want me near.
I see you in the distance..from the corner of my eye
And as you walk closer..my heart slowly starts to die
Stop looking through me..and quickly notice I'm alive
I can feel it in my heart..you the girl for who I've waited all my life
My heart beats faster as I realize this is my chance.
I don't want this moment to be gone in a glance.
I walk toward you slowly as if it's a dream.
Maybe fairy tales aren't as perfect as they seem
She's getting so close..it feels almost like a dream
I wonder if she hears how this heart excitedly screams
And it feel like her eyes are looking at me
But in the back of my head..I know.Its not me they see
I can't do it because this is not real.
I have never told anyone like him how I feel.
I won't QuitI know that I'm terrible....and I'll be the first to admit it
I need to be crucified for all the crimes..and the sins that I've committed
I'll never be outwitted...But keep getting tangled in the webs that I have knitted
But I'm alive because death is not permitted...Even if Life's a bitch I'm never gonna quit it
So what If everything in life..says that I'll never make it far
So poor we live off of the money we keep saved up in a Jar
Life might be hard...but don't quit and say that this is who we are
Every night you'll catch me gazing at the moon because I'm aiming at the stars
How else will I make it..If I don't even Try
Yeah I have so many excuses to just break down and cry
But everyday I keep my head up and keep looking at the sky
No matter how hard life is...this hope wont let these dreams just end here and die
Angel's CryNo power through the house
at night sleeping on the floor
Moved the furniture against the walls
Sofa is blocking the front door
We're all sleeping in the same room
trying to keep each other warm
We're fearing for our life
like if we're in the middle of a storm
For two weeks we lived like this
after we started living on our own
When we finally escaped our father
And mother took the burden all alone
She always stood so strong
Even though we barely moved along
Acting like nothing in the world is wrong
trying to give us some place we felt that we belonged
Then one night I walked into her room
I could smell in the air she had sprayed some of His perfume
Her tears were flowing
I could see depression was starting to consume
For us she'd been a strong mother
But she was still a wife that lost her groom
It was the first time I saw her cry
And the first time I wished that He'd just die
It was the first time I looked up to the sky
and asked god to help my mother get us by
My Angel cried
Reminisce about the PastWhat do you do ..when you lose someone that was always there for you
That no matter how tough life seemed to get...she always helped you through
But then suddenly decides she's had enough of you..wants to start her life anew
Then leaves you in the dead of night..without a clue of what to do
Sometimes I just lay awake at night..and wonder about your new life
wonder if you're still alive...or if now you're someone's new wife
I took you for granted so it justifies paying up this cruel price
And I've...spent so many nights just crying.. reminiscing about our old life
Well whoever says that men don't cry..must have never heard of pain
Must of never of had someone live inside their brain.Have them running through their veins...
Must have never of known how much it hurts..sometimes..to hear that certain person's name
Men must be dry like the dessert.....but even the Sahara has it's rain
Red And BlackI don't want to paint the white wall
lash out with red and black
use my colors to attack
something to beautiful
and people don't need to see
no, they don't want to see
what's happening to me
If I keep the wall white
they assume I'm alright
when I keep the red in my head
when I keep the black in the night
keep it all inside
just to hide
just to survive
it is hard to forgetsomehow i have just now remembered
that i have forgotten how to sing.
i hear distant whale song sometimes,
in my dreams, and wake with peripheral
melodies, soon to be fading memories.
i want to tell the tune that taunts
me like a horror movie ten o clock
every night: i don't need notes
to write a song.
my song is not born from flute fingers,
or guitar mouths, piano teeth
or belly drums, trombone limbs or
triangle eyes. no.
my song is the crater dimpled
meteor smile, the hot spot
sun blush. my song is the simple
silence of sitting on crescent moons
fishing for wishing stars because
i know birthday candles won't fix
my hemorrhaged throat.
the truth is my song is patched
and some pieces are gone.
my meter has forgotten its numbers
and my sharps have flattened points.
the truth is there are parts of
me that are falling off the scale.
i want to implore the moon, help me,
help me become full once again
because i've been blue
but never whole, never
since the aura
ReplacementMy fingers have forgotten how to dance;
the steps and pirouettes
they used to make with a pen
as it flirted with the paper.
They have abandoned the inconvenience
of the pen
for the simplicity
of a keyboard.
They still dance
from time to time,
but they are off-beat,
their rhythm is flawed.
And yet, that feeling I get
when my fingers
hold a pen
still soothes my mind.
Love Violent HatredFar too many words have been said
This particular topic has been discussed
Love, Violence, Hatred, take your pick
In the end, it is always fussed
I shall summarize, 3 lines each
Of what these things follow
All will be revealed at this time
The means do not seem so hollow
Love is a glass flower
If you know you cannot take care of it, give it away
If you want it, take it and never let it go
Sometimes, it may shatter by an unknown intent
Violence is like a drop of water
Enough of it will make any person go mad
Enough of it can cleanse any plate
Sometimes, it is needed when land is thirsty
Hatred is a metal chain
It binds people to something solid
It binds people to another person
Sometimes, it leaves marks on the body
Can you see what I see?
Or have you known this all the while
It may be very shocking to some
Please just take it with a smile
I could be wrong but I have thought
I would go the extra mile
I will solve these three topics carefully
Before there is no more sundial
The last to sleep, and first to rise,
I see everything pass my eyes.
The rumours, the secrets, all you say,
It doesn't take a genius, you're not okay.
Oh, I'm no peach, I know that too,
But know that I can see right through you,
The tremors in your eyes, flick of the wrist,
And you wonder for a second if you'll be missed?
FeederPaper has the metabolism of a hummingbird
And an insatiable appetite for sorrow keeps it
Soaring from feeder to feeder filled with dreams of something sweeter.
Words perch on thin lines of your attention span
Resting for a spell, what with the
Tension of pretension tensing their tendons,
It's no wonder flightless birds sing like shit too.
Not a peep
Nor pip, nor squeak, nor crow
All goes hush
In the bindings of a ringed scribblers margin.
If it were ten years ago, maybe,
You would be writing love stories in doodles of dinosaurs
with laser eyes and handle-bar mustaches,
But now you take notes.
Highlight the important bits
Like how that wouldn't be possible
Because dinosaurs can't grow facial hair.
You've lost your imagination.
Everything is straight row
Two columned and justified.
The irony in that is that there's no ground for it.
Only up-drafts and a faint realization worming it's way into conscientiousness;
That things aren't as fun as they used to be.
And maybe I'm the foolish one f
Not EverythingA card falls to the ground
much slower than a penny,
even taking Newton's law of
gravity into account.
And there isn't a name
for that green-violet color,
just before nightfall.
You can't explain the reasons
ice is slippery, or put into
words that rush of awe you get
standing at the lip of the
No one knows why cats sit
on top of boxes, or why
warm rain feels good when
it hits your upturned face.
There's a reason your mother
packed all her things and left one
day, but she didn't tell it to you.
Science can't do everything.
The Way ThereYour love has ravished my heart,
taken me over.
It's leaving me defenseless and
completely protected. I'm raw,
and uncovered, in the midst of
heaven and Earth, with you.
Your love is so much sweeter than
anything I've tasted, overwhelming
me, filling me to the brim.
I'm overflowing with it.
So pull me a little closer, take me
a little deeper, learning of your
heart all the while.
Because, you can love me more in a
moment, than other lovers could in a
Soon it will be over, and I will have
succumbed entirely to the love you've
gifted me, joyfully returning the same
And we'll float freely inside, truly
accepted and away from judgement.
My eyes shut, and my back relaxes, smiling
all the way there.
Sweet Shadows Of Lovesweet shadows of love melt into a syrup so thick
I held it in my palm, tasted it on my tongue
dizzying effects take my body over
you make the world so numb.
love, like poison, causes my fall
your sins are monsters from your mind
but somehow I accept them all.
a shadow of love left my head spinning
these sins replace my heart,
because of solely you I am living,
I'm addicted to tricks and shadows
because your sins are the only thing that ever stays the same
I'd choose love if it was always there
but I know you don't love me
I know, but I don't care.
so I'll bear your sins
just give me those illusions of love to numb the pain,
as my sinful heart beats and blood scorches along the veins
and as I bleed, for I'd bleed black
because my heart is gone,
it fell to you and I won't ask for it back
Waking up to YouI woke up today..and I felt the warmth of your body
And the breathes you exhaled where all landing on me
And the weight of your body...as you laid on my chest
I've had good mornings....but I'll confess... today was the best
All night while we slept...I held you in my arms
I was telling myself..I was protecting you from everything that harms
But it was an excuse ...I just wanted you Near
While you slept ..whisper in your ear....that you're what my heart holds most dear
And its only been a few months...and I can't picture my life without you
In such a short time..we both grew so much because of all we've been through
You gave my life purpose...and soon became more important than water
This is just a poem to tell you that I love you...my beautiful daughter
Genghis Whenever we were bad my mother used to take us to the mall to see Genghis Kahn. They kept him in a dusty diorama of a Mongolian steppe, all tall grass and yurts. He sat on a throne of bone (well, plastic shaped like bone), scowling in incomprehension at the American kids who flocked around him like startled lemmings. My mother would usually push us toward him, saying things like “Tell him what you did to your father’s stamp collection.” Genghis would give a grunt, spit a wad of phlegm onto the tall grass, and give us a wizened, wrinkled grimace, as if he had to go to the bathroom.
He terrified me.
My brother couldn’t get enough of him.
When my brother got caught in my mother’s evening dress, my mother grabbed us both and dragged us to Genghis. It was a slow day, and we were the only kids crowding him. “Tell him what you did,” my mother hissed a
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More