|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
Missing YouSince I woke up today
I've been struggling to breathe.
Choking on your name
Asking you not to leave.
It happened again,
I saw you in my dream.
I'm still trying to catch my breath
Trying not to scream.
I need to wipe these tears
I need to blur your face.
Force this heart back into gear,
make it regain its normal pace.
So I'll go get my pills
And I'll bring out the liquor.
Keep on lying to myself
Saying "today I really don't miss her".
But I'm haunted.
Can't get you off my head.
I wish that I would die,
For you to be the one suffering instead.
Why did we fight that night?
How could I let you drive away?
If i knew that you'd been drinking
I should have forced you to stay
is the anniversary of your death.
I've been trying not to think of you,
But I'm crying, still short of breath.
I take out my wallet
Where I still hold your picture.
Wondering if I'll meet you soon
Thanks to this pill and liquor mixture.
But I feel nothing
I've been drinking this all morning
My heart still hasn'
The Perfect ImperfectionLets speak the truth...what we had was never perfect
We would always fight..yet the seconds of bliss would make it seem worth it
And I know I made you sad..I kept driving you mad
But think back to what we had.........was it really too bad
Yes we would fight..we'd break up every night
But every morning we'd make up..and again things would start to feel right
Things started to get rough...they were becoming too tough
Then one day you decided that you'd finally had enough
But no matter how much you hate it..I'll always be your first
You had such a lustful heart..and only I could quench its Thirst
So go ahead and hate me..and say that you don't love me
But every time you see the word "love" you will always think of me
And this is what we were...just a perfect imperfection
Hate it all you want..but you just can't go denying our connection
And this love's become rejected..and our hearts become neglected
But babe..no matter what we do...we'll never be completely disconnected
Deceiving FairyTaleToday I really want to tell you...really want you to know
That everyday I'm trying..but still struggle to let you go
On a good day..I just end up feeling low
But then come the cruel nights..where the tears just want to flow
Then you appear out of thin air..and we begin to talk again
I love you so much that I just can't complain.
You come and you go..it's become a vicious chain
It just keeps driving me insane...a constant emotion keeps getting harder to sustain
When you're here I'm happy..then leave and just leave behind the pain
But I'm just so tired..of you coming and just leaving
Of the heartache and the bleeding...
Of the nightmares..of not sleeping..
Just tired of still living.. when it hurts so much..just breathing
Love is just a fairy tale..and at that..the most deceiving
But I've opened my eyes now...so I wont fall for this
No matter how much I miss you..and just think back and reminisce
I will no longer insist...look for you and continue to persist
Tonight I swear I'
Cupid's RevengeWhats with me?....I just can't get rid of this frown
And this sorrow keeps swimming in this liquor...and it just wont seem to drown
Proclaimed to be the King of this game...but I've seem to of lost my crown
Because every time I decide to give "Love" another shot..I keep getting shot down
Maybe Cupid is mad for all the hearts that I've Broken
Maybe his wrath is What I have awoken
Well It seems that his goal is to make sure that my heart becomes shattered
And make sure that all the pieces are scattered
Maybe that's why He wont let me have any girl that to this heart actually mattered
The one girl that I love is becoming estranged
And I'm sure it must be all because of Cupid's Revenge
Making our story be like Romeo and Juliet..must be his way to avenge
To give me a perfect girl..who easily takes away my breath
Just to realize..I can only have her..If we have a tragic death
Behind these WallsHello my son
I wonder how you have been
Not many news come from outside
In this cell that I'm in
But I'm hoping
That you have been fine
Can't recall since I last saw you
It's impossible to keep track of time
Despite all that I've sent you
There's been no reply to my letters
Are you ashamed of your father?
Is it because I'm chained by these fetters?
I miss you, son
I miss your sisters and your brother
I've been missing all the little things
Like waking up each morning to the smile of your mother
The news did reach me, though
That you're about to have a daughter
I hope you've grown as a better man than me
Its the only wish I have as your father
Do what I couldn't
And take care of your family
Be a better man than me
And do everything I knew that you could be
Son, I'm not sure if you still read my letters
Or If they're just thrown away
But in the chance that you're still reading
There is something that I just need to say
My time has already come
That I must tell you goodbye
I want to ask y
Backstabbing LoveI woke up in the middle of the night,
I was alone, moved searching for the light.
I grabbed my phone and had the screen shining
Bright. Then I noticed a note in the form of a text,
saying that you'd left to get back with your Ex.
What happened next I can't recall except I
Threw my phone against the wall. It
Shattered like you shattered my heart,
Now I'm alone, alone in the dark.
Turned my hand to a fist and started
Punching the floor and though I felt
The bones breaking, I kept punching it more.
Because nothing hurts more then this
Heart you just tore. How dare you just
Leave and go back to him, is this how you
Repay me, leaving like that in a whim?
You have questions I just have one answer,
You could have treated me better. After awhile
The loving embrace took its toll, I felt like you
Left me cold. So I sold my key. Let me be, I'll
just leave you with my memory.
But don't you forget everything that he did.
Yeah I know you'll regret It and wind up
feeling stupid. Did you suddenly forg
Alone I BreakI need to wake up
I've been oblivious for too long
Just open my eyes
Though all along
I've known that I was wrong
I pushed everyone away
Wouldn't open up to anyone
I'm so broken up inside
I can't keep acting like I'm strong
When did I become addicted
To punishing myself
Purposely contracting sickness
So I can ruin my health
Then make myself believe
That its the fault of someone else
But I've known all along
I built this hell for myself
Is this what I want
To die all alone
Bathed in this darkness
Feeling cold to the bone
Its easy to picture my death
Maybe I've just always known
I'll die on my own
With my sins left unatoned
Holding OnI'm here standing by my phone
Just waiting for you to miss me
Hoping you'll come back
For thing to go back to how they used to be
But It seems that up to now
I'm the only one who's missing
I've heard about it all
From moving on to that boy that you've been kissing
Now it seems like so long ago
That your eyes belonged only to me
Those days seem so far gone
More like fairy-tale than memory
Why Can't I let go
Why keep causing myself pain
Was it the way your eyes would always shine
Or the way that you'd pronounce my name
I really don't know
Why I'm sill holding on
But I need something to help me realize
That you're already gone
What I can't understand
Is that even though our story ended long ago
It was so easy to fall in love
But feels impossible to let you go
True RomanceDo you know how much it hurts...to picture you with someone else
To only have your best friend...and have to believe the stories that she tells
And just hate it when she tells me...that you've forgotten about me
That for the first time you feel....that you're actually happy.
Her words hurt like daggers.. draining all the blood from my veins.
It hurts to know you'll never say my name again. How can you pretend I never mattered.
I treated you like you were my king....I thought I was your queen.
Hearing you were never happy with us is just obscene.
And its mean...to have your friend keep posting those pictures on my screen
But what hurts most is seeing you have a smile...better than any I had ever seen
You never smiled that way with me...I've never seen you so serene
And just...seeing your eyes gleam..still the perfect blend of blue and green
Makes me fall back on old routines...thinking back on memories...
The memorys play in my head like a favorite song
I broke a mirrorI broke a mirror today.
What it showed me horrified me, so it didn't deserve to live.
The mirror's image was terrible,
it was an ugly mirror, it lied.
It deserved to die.
I crushed it into a million beautiful,sparkling shiny peices with my clunky bare hands.
They carved into my already torn skin, spillling lovely rivulets of red onto the floor.
The mirror was beautiful now that my reflection was gone from it.
The EndDig your nails into your skin, feel their harshness crawl within.
Scratch and tear the flesh apart, for here begins a fresh new start.
See the pink, the red, and the blue, grab a knife, you know what to do.
Remove the organs, hear the tears, scream and wail for further repairs.
And now you're down to your heart, tear it out to end and restart.
Don't Burn, LearnSomething happened today.
I experienced a frightening, life-threatening event.
But I am not here to tell you how scared shit-less I was.
Instead, I will tell you what went through my head as I lived the said episode.
First, to eradicate the suspense, I'll tell you that my house was on fire today.
I find it so ironic that we were completely oblivious to the state our house was in until outsiders and passersby came running to tell us of the black flumes rocketing out of the roof.
At this point, the first thought came to my head.
I imagined myself as the house. The flumes were analogous to defects in my personality and the ugliness in my character.
I thought how I am completely unaware of my faults. Then it hit me how people who care about me most will try their best to rescue me before I destroy myself.
I came to the conclusion that help, in any form, must always be graciously
DreamlandWake up, little girl, wake up.
The dream you've created is crumbling..
The life you're leading isn't real.
Your memories are nothing but lies.
Look beyond the window.
Sneak a peak into this reality;
this isn't some lovely paradise.
This is Hell on Earth.
I'm sorry, precious child.
I wish you didn't have to see the decay.
I never wanted you to witness
how cruel life truly is.
You can't go back to sleep,
you can't forget what you've learned.
The knowledge will stay with you from now on.
You can't go back to innocence.
Dear momDear mother,
I'm sorry. I know I'm not what you asked for. You wanted perfection, you wanted a mini-you. Well I'm definitely not that. I'm myself. But that's not good enough for you. It's not enough that I try my best or am talented. It's not enough if I pass my classes, I need to exceed that, and I need to do all the work around the house. You insult me, and expect me to take it. If I don't I'm a bitch, or a cunt whichever you feel like saying.
As I recall these statements:
Stop drawing, it'll get you no where in life.
You want to be a photographer; well I hope you have the talent
My daughter isn't a lying bitch, so can you give my back my daughter, and go back to where you're from
I'm you're boss, so you will listen to me until you die.
You wonder why people don't like you; you're fat and need to lose a couple pounds
Stop crying, you know I'm joking.
Do you remember when I came home that night? I was feeling really happy, and you saw me in a dress that went down to my knees, a
Colour BurstEbony twists wrapped in moonlight and stars
Frame lines, contours and flashing russet lamps
Which light whene'er smiles settle
And scarlet flushes flare to my words.
As the strongest lighthouse beckons sailors home,
I meditate in orbit around the strongest sun.
As you emanate love and light and life,
I paint a poet's picture of a heart's explosion.
As sunsets are layered in colours of heliotropes and indigoes,
Such is love, as layers form in lips and red and fragrant rose
In kisses shared, sunsets gaze upon and promises whispered before bedtime,
In the shouting, the sighing and the inevitable good-night kiss.
Flowing of cool water on fervent flames wash over
As kisses are delivered in delicious envelopes.
Smooth, luscious frivolity as the moon rejoices above
And darkness hides the grins and blushes.
Glowing candles melt and meld as pearly whites glisten
Framed by succulent lips which embrace heartily and feast,
Colour bursting from within; first alone and then together,
i'll love youI'll love you when you're up
When you're down
When you hate me
When you can't remember my name
When you lose yourself
When you can't hold onto reality
I'll be there
To put you back together, bit by bit
UnsaidSilence hits you sometimes
Words are scattered like frightened children
You stand in the limbo between the truth and the present
Words will not come, afraid of the devastation they're about to bring
Fear is there instead, filling the gaps of your mind
You knew the truth wouldn't matter at all
Unsaid, it still hurts
My last angelI'll confess...I'm not Strong
I breakdown every time I hear our song.
And I know that I was wrong
I couldn't prove to them that we Belong
That I fucked up...I'm a Mess
There's no words that could help me express
That this heart's filled with distress
But what can I do..If I no longer have you
Even if I beg to your god..the past isn't something that I can Undo
And I wish, from the start...that I knew
That I was a sky....that was loosing its blue
Who would have known that I'd be so empty.
that there was so many things that could easily tempt me
think back to what was wrong with us..I'm sure you'll think of Plenty
I don't believe in god...but I know you're the last angel that he'll send me
Keep in Touch!
Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More