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I'm still in love with you
Even after all these years
You're still my
First thought in the morning
The only one that's brought
Me tears
I wish I could control me
But only you know all my fears
Can you help my vision clear
When I look into the mirror
Only you can help me find myself
When I look into this mirror alone
The image only starts to smear
I'm still in love with you
Even after all these years
Even if sometimes we hurt
I still need you near

But Are you still in love with me
Despite all the tears
Am I your first though in the morning
Do you care even  after all these
Years
Or Do you hate I'm so controlling
Is my neediness your biggest fear
Have I made you hate yourself
Made you feel alone..is that why
Your makeup smears
What do you see when you look into
the mirror
Do you scream at it...is the image
dark or clear
Are you in love with me
After all the tears
Do I make you hurt....
Do you need me near
These Things I've Done
Poem that I had started a while ago..
and I just never sat down to finish
And I figured that since I hurt everyone I care for
It would be more fitting to make this a poem
about someone who loves someone and that 
that person makes him find himself
but he only hurts the girl..and makes her 
hate who she became because of him.
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Love is Blind (Before and After) by IINegativeII
Love is Blind (Before and After)
Considering how far apart these two are from each other i really should have improved a lot more than what I did. (Not that I really improved at all....lol)
Original was from 2012 new one is 2015
I havent drawn as much as I would have liked these past few years. 
I should change that. 
These were both drawn in regular ball point pen 


before and after format thingy :bampire.deviantart.com/art/Mem…
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Sometime's I'm just going to pop out of nowhere
And every word that I say will seem like they're
the exact words you want to hear
I'll be honest, of course
But I'll speak to you from the deepest depths
Of cheesiness that resides within my being.
I'll describe in depth how you make my heartbeat
How it feels like a child who found some drums
and is happily just beating on the set with no
beat or reason.
I'll tell you how I can't sleep at night because
I long for your presence and I roll around in bed
Imagining the ways in which I'll hold you in my arms,
press you against my chest so tightly that we'll melt and
mold into each other. Imagine kissing you.
Feel one deep breath being passed through our mouths
circulating our lungs, knowing that your beautiful lips..
and this precious kiss will give me life once more.
I'll tell you that I love you. And even though
you might be skeptical...you might think this second
chance that you gave me could fall apart any second
You'll know that these words are true. That I love you more
now than the first time I said it. And I love you more
and need you more every time I say it...if that is even possible.

Sometimes I'll be here the same as always
And every word that I say will be the worst
And exactly what you don't need to hear
I'll tell you all my deepest fears
All the insecurities that have build a nest
Around my heart and keep eating at me
I'll tell you that I'm jealous and how my heartbeat
is beating so fast...in the most unpleasent..most painful
way possible. It will beat against my chest
and every thud will feel like a dagger being forced
a dagger slowly ripping me apart.
I'll tell you how this jealousy awakens a rage in me
that I've never felt before. My hands tremble and my skin
feels so hot...all my blood is boiling and it only gets hotter
with your "it's no big deal"s.
I'll tell you that I'm scared that you don't love me.  That this
second chance is a way for you to break me
more completely and irreparable than how I was left
the first time around.  I'm scared that this happiness won't last
forever. Because my happiness is all in your hands and you
could choose to love me or leave me destroyed.

I'll be here always
And only you will get to see every side of me
from my confidence to my insecurities
you will witness it all because I can only be
completely open and honest with you.
You can choose to hate me for that. Hate that
I need you more than I need food. More than I
need warmth. That no matter how many times
I stay outside in the cold and hate that I can't talk to you
I'll wait outside again....and again...
Because the times we do talk are the most precious
seconds of my life.  You can hate how it breaks me..
being unable to hear your voice... But only because you
Probably don't understand just how precious it is to me.
How soothing it is. How it washes away all the pain..
and suffering...and annoyance of my everyday life.
How your laughter makes me laugh and smile...
in the days where I just wanted to hold a bottle to my lips
or a blade against my veins.
I'll be here...always..
If you choose to love me like I love you.
Hooked on a Feeling
Never thought I would post something like this before right?
Neither did I.
But well here we are
Freaking long isn't it.
Even the person who this was for said it was too long
like.psshhh
anyway.
even pointless writing most of you wont even read this far ;P
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If I close my eyes all I ever see is you
Drown the world in black and deprive the sky of blue
Deep down I always sort of knew

My heart will dance despite its bruise
All I have to do is let you in
If I close my eyes all I ever see is you
And just take all of the abuse
Kiss me, hold me then throw me after I've been used
Deep down I always sort of knew

Close your eyes and tell me who you see
Say my name regardless if it's me
If I close my eyes all I ever see is you
A shame that you could never love me too
If love gives you wings then it's no surprise I never flew
Deep down I always sort of knew

The days of bliss have become few
How could I ever move on to someone new
If I closed my eyes all I ever saw was you
Deep down I always sort of knew
High as the Ceiling
New(ish) poem.
I wrote this about a month ago just never posted it.
Format is really different from my usual style and was stolen from 
the format of this other poem I really loved.
I just can't remember the name of it right now
Anyway.
Enjoy...if you want
or not.
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No one said that love was easy.
And I've never once thought that it would be.
What I did believe was that finding the right person,
 the one person that makes you feel complete. ..that
covers all your broken pieces perfectly; we're both
broken and look like puzzle pieces but we fit each other
so god damn perfectly,  I thought they would never make
us drown  in pain. But you're often the one that holds
my head under this fucking sea of sorrow.  The messed
up thing is that I know I'm dragging you down with me.  
We're both suffocating but we're pretending to be able
to breathe underwater.
And sometimes we can.  We have those moments of perfection
where we're so happy with each other. ..where we can't stop
smiling. But then there are those moments where you question
if I could ever make you happy. You say I haven't done so
in a while.  Was that perfect moment we just shared a dream?
 Was your smile fake?  Am I the one holding your head underwater?
Did I imagine we were both in the same situation because I saw my
reflection next to you?
No one said that love was easy.
But sometimes it feels so god damn impossible.  Is it that
selfish to want us to swim away together?  Or will you swim
away without me. .and leave me to drift down into the abyss?
Underwater
I've never posted anything like this before.
And right now I don't really care if everyone hates this.
I wrote it for myself...and hopefully one pair of gorgeous eyes.....
Anyway.
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I'm tired of seeing the same journal on my page..
but I have nothing to say..so I'm going to post some song lyrics I really love.

Motionless In White- Bananamontana

Paralyzed... by the envy of the night... 
I am lost without you here.
And outside it looks like rain, 
Say goodbye for the last time.
For the last time I'll bleed myself dry tonight.
We are all alone.
And nothing I could ever write would help you understand this life.
There's so much beauty when scarlet eyes lay lost in all the city lights.
The wax will drip as so as blood, 
Romance is dead and all is lust.
Your are the water in my lungs, we've lost it... 

And nothing I could ever write would help you understand this life.
There's so much beauty when scarlet eyes lay lost in all the city lights.
The wax will drip as so as blood, 
Romance is dead and all is lust.
Your are the water in my lungs, we've lost it now!



Motionless In White- Sinematic 

The wall that I have built to keep you out is starting to rust
Because everything around me just reminds me of us.
I am an addict for dramatic, black hair and pale skin.
Yet I'm still collecting bones, but that's why closets are for skeletons

Undress your body, hold it over my head
Because you know that if you knock then
I'll always let you in
I've been numb for so long that I forgot how to feel
So I don't care if it will break my heart,
Just fuck me till we disappear

You said you'd never hurt me
Now this is all that we have left
You were supposed to save me
From myself

The wall that I have built to keep you out has crumbled to dust
And I hope that everything you see reminds you of us
I've been gone for so long that I forgot what is real
So I don't care if I will miss you, please just fuck me till we disappear

You never said you'd hurt me
Now this is all that we have left
You were supposed to save me
From myself

You said you'd never love me
But look how hard someone can fall
I was supposed to save you
From yourself

Now the sky is on fire and we lie wide awake
There is no other way than to make this mistake
We can't control who we hurt so we fuck the pain away
So put all of your pride, all your guilt into me
And suck the breath from my lungs and I'll swallow your hate
We can't control how we hurt so we fuck the pain away


Bring Me The Horizon - Seen It All Before

Every second's soaked in sadness
Every weekend is a war
And I'm drowning in the déjà vu
We've seen it all before

I don't wanna do this by myself
I don't wanna live like a broken record
I've heard these lines a thousand times
And I've seen it all before

Are we close enough?
There is something I must confide
I think we've lost our touch
There's no sparkle in those eyes

What an awful mess I've made
There's nothing left to save

Every second's soaked in sadness
Every weekend is a war
And I'm drowning in the déjà vu
We've seen it all before

I don't wanna do this by myself
I don't wanna live like a broken record
I've heard these lines a thousand times
And I've seen it all before

(There's nothing in the air tonight...)

Every second's soaked in sadness
Every weekend is a war
And I'm drowning in the déjà vu
We've seen it all before

I don't wanna do this by myself
I don't wanna live like a broken record
I've heard these lines a thousand times
And I've seen it all before

I'm sorry, no... it's not enough
We shouldn't feel a love so painfully
It hurts right to the touch
I know it stings, I know this cuts
And I wish I could agree with you
But fuck this love, it's not enough

It's not enough...
It's not enough...


Alesana- Early Mourning

Last night I forgot
How the sound of your voice whispered sweet
Goodbyes,
Your eyes, left to die
I'm alone to understand why

Why not one more night?
One last kiss goodbye?
My sweet love tonight
I hope the stars
Still spell out your name
Where you are...

Kiss my closing eyes
Help me sleep
Without you I'm so lost
Tonight I cry
Tell me why
I can't live without your warm embrace

Why not one more night?
One last kiss goodbye?
My sweet love tonight
I hope the stars still
Spell out your name
Where you are...

I close my eyes and you are everything I see
Goodbye

Goodbye to you my love
I won't forget you
I'll see you soon
Goodbye my love
Goodbye to you my love
I won't forget you
Let me live


  • Mood: Lazy
  • Listening to: Falling in Reverse
  • Drinking: Monster

deviantID

IINegativeII
Manny
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
The story of my life...isn't written in a Book
It has no catchy song...with an impeccable Hook
But its been recorded in the memories..of the people that I've Met
And when I come to die, I hope, at least one person..wont Forget

Negative


My Book: www.lulu.com/shop/manny-gonzal…

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:icon16woodsequ:
16woodsequ Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the fav on "It's just" :D
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tokatun Featured By Owner 1 day ago
Thanks for the favWink/Razz 
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Life-takers-crayons Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2015
Thanks for faving :)
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ArdenEllenNixon Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2015
Thank you for adding me to your deviant watch!
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Madam--Kitty Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist

Hi. wanna join my group called Anti-illuminati-01? anti-illuminati-01.deviantart.…

P.S. The group is about politics in case you were wondering.

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