Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Varied / Hobbyist Member MannyMale/United States Group :iconcreate-all-art: Create-All-Art
We love all art <3
Recent Activity
Deviant for 3 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 134 Deviations 35,999 Comments 23,546 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Random Favourites

Activity


It should come to no surprise
That I'm feeling lost again
I stay awake all night
Trying to drink away my pain
I'm trying to drown all of the voices
From the demons in my brain
But nothing's quite as haunting
As you  whispering my name
I will fail...I know....that I'll feel pain again
If you came back into my life
It's only to make me suffer till the end

Why do I let you keep doing this to me
You're still a ghost haunting, never sets me free
Whenever you appear you only come to hurt
Drop me to one knee just to drag me through the dirt
Why do I let you make me hate myself
I'm begging you..don't let this heart become my hell
Why do I let you come just to do your harm
Might as well grab this knife and start slashing at my arm
Why the hell am I addicted to this pain
Why  do butterflies still fly with the sound of just your name
Tell me why I'll forever be in love
Tell me...god... why that'll never be Enough

It should come to no surprise
That I'm feeling lost again
I stay awake all night
Trying to drink away my pain
I'm trying to drown your voice
That dances circles in my brain
Keep trying to bite my tongue
To keep from shouting out your name
I will fail...I know that I'm all yours again
All my bones are aching
Wrapped around your finger till the end
And there's no point in hoping
I know you see this as a game
But even if you don't love me
Please continue to Pretend
Please Pretend
New poem
i havent written in a while
this one is kinda all over the place because 
i basically just used to poem ideas and put them together
Sorry if its terrible 
Loading...
It's that time again
To drown in pain
To sit around
And drink away
My day
No more pretend
Think about the end

Here I sit alone,
Just staring at my phone.
Is this how I go?
I should have thought,
Of the pain I brought.
But here we are again-
Like back then.

Up and down my back
I can feel the chills
My hands keep on shaking
Opening this bottle full of pills
This phone
only displays your picture
If your memory won't kill me
I'll be dying from this mixture

I should have listened;
To each and every lecture.
I called you my treasure,
But you didn't hear the gesture!
I have my old lover,
'To a new journey',
Till I disregard this pleasure ,
Now i'm at your mercy.
But I'm still Thirsty

I'm still here and you're gone
These substances
only make me feel numb
And I want to feel
Your kiss and your skin
But none of this is real
Its making my head spin
But alcohol is the only
thing that I have
Tends to all my wounds
When I'm broken
Up In half

It is easy,
Being so far?
Maybe it'll appease me.
Maybe you think I'm cured?
But there is no curing this,
I'm another lover it's lured.
With it I've found a bliss.
It's killing me, you know?
Not the pills or the liquor,
Not the lack of sleep,
Or the weeks without --
You should kill me quicker
Sometimes I miss our past... All the phone calls and Kisses...
I miss the late nights and secrets... All the hopes and good wishes...
But recently I stopped caring and I'm not sure what to do...
Because life goes on without those things... Without love ...Without You.

But it feels numb... it feels like living without meaning
Give me all those moments back when you turned my
heartbeat into screaming
Erupt all of my senses with just the slightest touch of skin
Give me what you give him, tell me it's alright for us to sin
Lie to me...tell me he's not the reason for your smile
That your being with him is just a test for me
That you've put me through a trial

Because...
Life goes on
But I can't go on...without you

There's a million different ways for me to tell you how I feel
But I always seem to choose the worst way
I've been trying to build up the courage to tell you I still I love you
But I can't seem to find the words to say...
And imagining his hand caressing up and down your skin
Is making all my sunny days turn gray
Your smile still gives me strength ..maybe enough to find the will
And tell you what I need for you to turn my way

Then again... This... Might just be a phase...
A fluke. A lemon. An emotional wave...
These bipolar feelings are driving me mad...
I love you... I miss you... I want you so bad...

Eventually, though, my thoughts of you... will wither away...
You'll find another person to brighten your days.
What's left to say? I've pushed you away...
And what's more my insensitivity, by you, has been repaid....
I know deep in my heart I'll always miss Us...hate that I withdrew...
But to free myself from this misery... I must remember... Life goes on without You.
I wonder what I saw in you
That made Me think you were the one
Perhaps it was your smile, your laugh, your voice.
Everything I miss now that you're gone

I wonder what It was from you
That made me fall in love
Many hours spent just talking
But it still never felt enough

But most importantly
what did you ever see in me
Was i just the guy that wouldn't leave
The only one who proved I couldn't survive
If you were gone I couldn't breathe
Was I just someone you never had to lose
No matter how much you cut or bruised
Were you left confused because I would not refuse
any of the abuse

I wonder what I saw in your eyes
Were they projecting our dreams or just lies
When did you wake up to realize
I wasn't worth a relationship you had to hide
A single tear from all your cries,
A painful beat as you felt your heart beat die
What did you see in my eyes
That said my love wouldn't suffice

Tell me what I saw in you
I must have been fucking insane
Tell me what you saw in me
That you can never see again
Tell me when you felt it
The beginning of the end
Tell my why I still love you
When your memory's just pain
Keep staring at that mirror
Until disgust starts bursting from your gaze
Feel your stomach turning upside down
Tell yourself you're just going through a phase
Watch the bloody tears run down your cheek into your mouth
Witness how bitter it all tastes
The burst of all the pain you've been feeling
Is what's controlled you these past days

There is nothing more that you can say
Nothing to cure the cuts left by the blade
Alcohol can't heal you
Or erase the scars that you have made
Long sleeves can't hide the skin you bruise
But it's up to you to choose
Let your blood run down the sink
Or let the floor collect all the blood you lose

Will you always choose to hide
Is your safest place behind these lies
Don't you dare be surprised
When you wake up to realize
Your true self lies beyond the skin
One Day you'll be Crucified for all your sins
People think that death is easy
But it's when the torture will begin

You lost yourself when you were young
Can you feel the water crash
against the walls inside your lungs
Everywhere you see just strangers
And you wonder if that's who you'll die among
All that anger that's bottled up
Why do you keep on biting your tongue
Why do you pretend
You know you're scared of dying young

There goes another day, another hour
Disappearing by the second
You hide behind that smile like a coward
A mask can't smile but it can fake it
Like a grave with wilted flowers
A corpse waiting to be dissected
Will this always be the life of ours
We're so scared of death
But getting closer by the second
Behind Fake Smiles
I have to admit, I kind of hate this poem
But i needed a new piece to post
it has been far too long since my last post
Loading...
I'm tired of seeing the same journal on my page..
but I have nothing to say..so I'm going to post some song lyrics I really love.

Motionless In White- Bananamontana

Paralyzed... by the envy of the night... 
I am lost without you here.
And outside it looks like rain, 
Say goodbye for the last time.
For the last time I'll bleed myself dry tonight.
We are all alone.
And nothing I could ever write would help you understand this life.
There's so much beauty when scarlet eyes lay lost in all the city lights.
The wax will drip as so as blood, 
Romance is dead and all is lust.
Your are the water in my lungs, we've lost it... 

And nothing I could ever write would help you understand this life.
There's so much beauty when scarlet eyes lay lost in all the city lights.
The wax will drip as so as blood, 
Romance is dead and all is lust.
Your are the water in my lungs, we've lost it now!



Motionless In White- Sinematic 

The wall that I have built to keep you out is starting to rust
Because everything around me just reminds me of us.
I am an addict for dramatic, black hair and pale skin.
Yet I'm still collecting bones, but that's why closets are for skeletons

Undress your body, hold it over my head
Because you know that if you knock then
I'll always let you in
I've been numb for so long that I forgot how to feel
So I don't care if it will break my heart,
Just fuck me till we disappear

You said you'd never hurt me
Now this is all that we have left
You were supposed to save me
From myself

The wall that I have built to keep you out has crumbled to dust
And I hope that everything you see reminds you of us
I've been gone for so long that I forgot what is real
So I don't care if I will miss you, please just fuck me till we disappear

You never said you'd hurt me
Now this is all that we have left
You were supposed to save me
From myself

You said you'd never love me
But look how hard someone can fall
I was supposed to save you
From yourself

Now the sky is on fire and we lie wide awake
There is no other way than to make this mistake
We can't control who we hurt so we fuck the pain away
So put all of your pride, all your guilt into me
And suck the breath from my lungs and I'll swallow your hate
We can't control how we hurt so we fuck the pain away


Bring Me The Horizon - Seen It All Before

Every second's soaked in sadness
Every weekend is a war
And I'm drowning in the déjà vu
We've seen it all before

I don't wanna do this by myself
I don't wanna live like a broken record
I've heard these lines a thousand times
And I've seen it all before

Are we close enough?
There is something I must confide
I think we've lost our touch
There's no sparkle in those eyes

What an awful mess I've made
There's nothing left to save

Every second's soaked in sadness
Every weekend is a war
And I'm drowning in the déjà vu
We've seen it all before

I don't wanna do this by myself
I don't wanna live like a broken record
I've heard these lines a thousand times
And I've seen it all before

(There's nothing in the air tonight...)

Every second's soaked in sadness
Every weekend is a war
And I'm drowning in the déjà vu
We've seen it all before

I don't wanna do this by myself
I don't wanna live like a broken record
I've heard these lines a thousand times
And I've seen it all before

I'm sorry, no... it's not enough
We shouldn't feel a love so painfully
It hurts right to the touch
I know it stings, I know this cuts
And I wish I could agree with you
But fuck this love, it's not enough

It's not enough...
It's not enough...


Alesana- Early Mourning

Last night I forgot
How the sound of your voice whispered sweet
Goodbyes,
Your eyes, left to die
I'm alone to understand why

Why not one more night?
One last kiss goodbye?
My sweet love tonight
I hope the stars
Still spell out your name
Where you are...

Kiss my closing eyes
Help me sleep
Without you I'm so lost
Tonight I cry
Tell me why
I can't live without your warm embrace

Why not one more night?
One last kiss goodbye?
My sweet love tonight
I hope the stars still
Spell out your name
Where you are...

I close my eyes and you are everything I see
Goodbye

Goodbye to you my love
I won't forget you
I'll see you soon
Goodbye my love
Goodbye to you my love
I won't forget you
Let me live


  • Mood: Lazy
  • Listening to: Falling in Reverse
  • Drinking: Monster

deviantID

IINegativeII
Manny
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
The story of my life...isn't written in a Book
It has no catchy song...with an impeccable Hook
But its been recorded in the memories..of the people that I've Met
And when I come to die, I hope, at least one person..wont Forget

Negative


My Book: www.lulu.com/shop/manny-gonzal…

AdCast - Ads from the Community

Groups

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconardenellennixon:
ArdenEllenNixon Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2015
Thank you for adding me to your deviant watch!
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconmadam--kitty:
Madam--Kitty Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist

Hi. wanna join my group called Anti-illuminati-01? anti-illuminati-01.deviantart.…

P.S. The group is about politics in case you were wondering.

Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconangeloflight03:
AngelofLight03 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you for the favourite :D
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconblackrainboww0224:
BlackRainboww0224 Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you so much for the watch!!! (I don't know if I haven't thanked you yet~ :3 )
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconvelvetfingertips:
velvetfingertips Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the watch! :heart:
Reply
(1 Reply)
Add a Comment: